Red Shoe Diaries

“Listen, stay in the moment, DO IT!”

I kept telling myself that little mantra most of the day yesterday. Like last Wednesday I planned on doing some improv with Bryan and Erin, however this time I refused to suck. Part of my problem is that I’m never in the moment, which is of course hindering my listening. I was determined to get up there, listen and focus on the particulars of the scene. “Listening is reacting, reacting is acting,” is what one of the more talented performers said to me. Part of my problem is that I’m never allowing myself to react, instead of listening I’m planning what I’ll do next, what funny thing I might say.

Last night I listened and reacted, in return we got a few laughs. For the first time I felt confident up on stage, it felt right. My decision to pursue comedy is not just another lackluster pursuit, it’s legitimate and real. Nothing I’ve done in the past few years has made me feel the way I feel when I’m doing comedy. This just feels right.

I wish I could more eloquently describe my excitement at this very moment. Let’s just say that nothing can rain on my parade today, nothing! Unless I lose my temp job, that might put a kink in my day. Or even worse, I lose my temp job and find out I had herpes, now that would be a downer. Or what if I got home tonight really looking forward to a lovely chicken dinner only to discover that I didn’t thaw out the chicken and it’s just too frozen to cook properly. Okay, I guess that wouldn’t be so bad, but it would be upsetting.