Is it just me or does anybody else get a kick out of letting people assume you baked something when you SO didn’t?

I’m already going to hell, might as well enjoy myself along the way!

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I survived y’all. The tooth is gone and so is the pain. I’m a new man. Well, not really new, just improved. Whatever.
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I must fess up, I’m as excited as a school girl who just discovered the secret powers of the faucet in the bathtub.

Today “My So Called Life” comes out on DVD. I have been waiting for this day for years. Seriously. Years! I would check Amazon.com from time to time, look for used copies, etc. I could never find a copy of the show for under $100 (a little more than I could afford).

What was so special about the show? Many things: the writing was stellar, the performances top notch, the look was classic mid-90’s. But for me the show marked a pivotal time in my life when I listened closely and realized, holy hell, I just might be gay.

It was the Christmas episode. Ricky, the gay character (played beautifully Wilson Cruz), was staying with the Chase family until the mother decided it was time for him to leave. He ran away instead of being kicked out, lived in a half-way house, hid his agony. Towards the end of the episode Patty Chase (the mother), realized what she had done to Ricky, found him and accepted him for who he was - even if nobody else would.

Okay, I’ll admit, for 2007 standards that sounds awfully cheesy and oh so after-school-special like. But for 1995 (two years before Ellen), it was huge. Huge, I say! And for little 13 year old Scotty, it was bigger than huge. Life-altering.
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Downside to having a tooth pulled: not being able to eat solids for 48 hours after. Ugh, all I want is a nice cracker. Just one. Even a saltine, it doesn’t have to be a tasty cracker like a Wheat Thin or a Cheez-It. Bah!

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How does that theme song go?

You take the good
You take the bad
You take them both and there you have the facts of life
The facts of life

Whoda thunk “The Facts of Life” would prove so prophetic?Case of Opposites # 1:
Halloween party on Friday night, was fantastic! I went as a German beer girl, Helga von Scotty (hence the photo above, more can be found in my photo gallery). Nobody does Halloween like the gays, it’s our Christmas. There’s a whole week devoted to proper Halloween etiquette in gay school.

Half way through the celebration my tooth (which was scheduled to be pulled on November 8th), started to hurt. I left in pain, but at least I looked damn good!

Case of Opposites # 2:
Had a great lunch on Saturday with a very nice fellow. He bakes, ‘nough said!.

After lunch I went to work on my stand up routine for the Fresh Faces show on November 7th at the Hollywood Improv (check out the link to the left). Because of the tooth, I wasn’t feeling all there, didn’t get the laughs I was hoping for. I’m not your typical comic, I recognize that. I tell stories, not one-liners. Because of this there’s a lot of silence from the audience, which terrifies me. I must get used to the silence.

Case of Opposites # 3:
This weekend marked the culmination of tons of training, I was supposed to run 20 miles on Sunday. I woke up that morning drenched in sweat, obviously the infection from the toothache was taking it’s toll on my body. I ran 13 miles until I couldn’t take it anymore. The depression this caused cannot be described, I was furious.

So what do I do when I’m distressed? Watch movies! Unfortunately my area had a power outage mid-way through my favorite movie (Terms of Endearment), leaving me in pain and in the dark.

I can’t win for losing.

The power came on 30 minutes before “Desperate Housewives”. I sat there with my frozen yogurt, determined to end the day on a sweet note. It worked!

Things are looking up today. I’m getting my tooth pulled at noon. Which of course means that I have a great excuse to eat all the ice cream I want tonight and finish Terms of Endearment. Color me thrilled!

Send me an email at TheScottBlog@gmail.com

This morning on the Today show they had a segment dedicated to children’s Halloween costumes that run a high risk of going up in flames. They featured a girl’s princess outfit and put a candle up to it. Within a minute the costume was engulfed.

I would like the know how many children have been badly burnt due to the costume they were wearing?

The whole segment was rather morbid. Watching this princess outfit go up in flames, I couldn’t help but imagine a young girl inside of it. The outfit just hung there, I wanted it to flail around as it would if a human were inside of it.

I wonder if the producers of the Today show were trying to put forth a subtle metaphor. Why choose a very popular costume to set a blaze? Why not one that the majority of people wouldn’t imagine a young, probably blond girl, standing in? Maybe they’re trying to tell young girl’s to stop dreaming to be a princess one day, it’s never gonna happen! Be practical, be something that would help further the economy, like a lawyer or a Senator with a strip of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

Anyway, be careful parents, princess outfits burn quickly. Have your kids be a witch, I’d rather melt then burn, wouldn’t you?

Send me an email at TheScottBlog@gmail.com

Okay Mister Evol Kween, I accept your challenge to fill all in on 8 things you might not know about me (I’m a sucker for a dare). I challenge The BAT Blog, Confessions of a Southern Boy in Brooklyn, CONTEXTUAL MUSINGS, Debriefing the Boys, Mississippi River Valley Girl, jay + me = gay, Famous Like Me and Mister Jon.

Here goes:

1 - I have a secret obsession with Marie Osmond. It’s difficult for me to explain my love for Miss Osmond, it might just be our similar religious backgrounds. Whatever it is, I’ve always wanted to be the rock ‘n roll to her country.

2 - Speaking of religion, I was raised Mormon. No longer Mormon, but it’s in me (deep deep down).

3 - I lost my virginity at 14. This seems like a silly thing to share, very “Truth or Dare” of me. Whatever, deal with it!

4 - In fifth grade I was getting all excited at play time, showing off, being funny, etc. Most of my childhood is filled with moments where I thought I was being funny, but somebody always winds up getting hurt or it turns awkward in some capacity. WELL, I wrote “nice boobs” on the white board to get a laugh out of my small group, intending to erase it before the teacher saw. Unfortunately I confused a permanent marker with a dry erase one. However, a nice lesson learned from this incident is that hairspray will take permanent marker off dry erase boards. Bet you didn’t know that!

5 - I once cut my brother with a butcher knife. Again, I was trying to be funny.

6 - I was dating this guy who had trouble climaxing. When I broke up with him he insisted to know why. I said, “Because you’ve given my jaw and hands such cramps waiting for you to finish!”

7 - I can’t whistle.

8 - My life’s ambition at the age of 8 was to work at McDonald’s. I just loved those Chicken McNuggets. Yum-O!

I hate being frustrated. It’s probably one of my very least favorite emotions. But really, who enjoys being frustrated?

Work has been stressful, I’m training for a marathon, a comedy routine is in the works - life is not easy at the moment. Because I’m an optimistic person, when I feel the frustration settling on my mind I tend to fight it. “I am happy… I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts… Scott is fantastic!” these are things I chant to myself to combat the stress.

The other day I heard on NPR a therapist talking about stress. She said that everyone has the right to feel frustrated, own it, you do not have to be happy all of the time. Her voice was so calm, she was over enunciating every word, she had a deliberate radio voice, it was forced - I wanted to cut her.

She went on to share a personal story of stress that caused her frustration. She had the flu, it gave her headaches, she thought she was dying. Then she said, “… but thankfully I live next door to one of the world’s most renowned psycho-analysts. I asked him, ‘Am I going insane?’ He said, ‘No, just momentarily mad. You have the right to be frustrated.’ And so I owned my frustration.”

Where did this bitch come from? I wanted to switch the channels but couldn’t, something was keeping me glued to this lady. I started to hit the wheel. Own my frustration! Fuck you!

I wanted to call in, but unfortunately talk radio no longer does call-ins like they used to. If I could have called in it would have gone something like this, “Hi ‘All Things Considered,’ Scott here, first time caller, long time listener. I’m sure Miss Doctor Lady is correct, but her tone is condescending. Does she speak to her regular patients like this? If so I’d like somebody to investigate the suicide rate of everyone she’s treated. Frankly, after listening to her for the past five minutes I’d much rather kick her ass than own my frustration. Allow me to offer some home spun advice for your listeners. Are you stressed? Frustrated? Stop thinking about it so much and go crack a beer! Smoke a bowl! Read People Magazine, something!”

Yes, who needs a therapist when we have so many vices to give in to. That’s therapy!

i love breakfast food. seriously, it’s friggin amazing. typically i start my day off with a bowl of oatmeal, a banana and an english muffin. on long run days i throw in some eggs for ample protein (with some yummy peppers thrown for maximum tastiness). this morning i had two breakfasts, only because i didn’t know my work was giving us breakfast. the typical one was had but then bacon, eggs, ham, potatoes, all the greats were brought in. how could i turn that down?

my favorite breakfast (that i never eat anymore): biscuits and gravy! i realize that my love of this artery clogging dish shows where i’m from (the midwest with a dash of southern). i also recognize just how awful this meal truly is. i don’t care, my love for those yummy buttermilk biscuits and white sausage gravy will never waiver. my aim is true.

**

i’m having trouble sleeping through the night. i will fall asleep but then wake a couple hours later only to stay awake until just a couple of hours before i have to get ready for work (or a run). this is pissing me off.

i try all the old tricks: a cold rag, a warm rag, read a book, count sheep, drink ovaltine, drink warm milk, do heroin, take a shower - nothing works! could this be a sign that i’m getting older? don’t old people sleep only a couple of hours, wake by 4 AM and hit the malls for mall walking by 7 AM? sure i had a dream of living the life of “the golden girls,” but i never thought it would happen at the age of 25! plus that dream was more about the cheesecake than anything else.

got a remedy that works, send it my way!

***

AIDS Walk Los Angeles is on Sunday! Show your support if you can. If you don’t live in LA, contact your local AIDS service organizations and get involved. There might not be a cure yet but at least we can change the course of the epidemic.

All day long I’ve felt like I’ve had a booger hanging out of my nose. I’ve asked people and all have confirmed that I DO NOT have a booger (one rude co-worker did comment on my nose hairs - note to self: trim tonight). What causes this feeling? If there’s nothing there than what inside of me makes me feel like something is there? I rub my nose to rid myself of invisible booger, which I’m sure is giving off the impression that I’ve recently snorted something (the stress of work lately doesn’t help this image; picture it, me sitting at my desk, typing away in a hurry, looking perplexed with completing the task, rubbing my nose furiously - I’m a meth head to everybody who walks by).

I’m part of a fantastic group of people whom are throwing a party for 30,000 people on Sunday in West Hollywood Park. There’s so much to do, I’m under a great deal of stress, food is being eaten without regard to calorie content, and it’s all completely wroth it.

Yesterday, under a moment of great stress, I had an epiphany. What did I have to be stressed about? Whenever things get sour I turn to an amazing group of people that make up my existence. Family and friends, we are one. Stress is nothing when put into perspective.

More to come when I have time. Be well friends, let the light in and smile!

If that doesn’t work than eat a pear. A nice pear always makes me happy!

This god damn booger won’t go away.