Tomorrow morning I’ll be leaving on a jet plane for New York City. Color me thrilled!

I can’t believe I’ve been away from the city since June. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then my heart is literally leaking fondness. NYC is my home, which is funny because I never intended for it to be that. Initially it was just a stop on the path, not literally a place to settle down, just to hang my hat. But while I was there I established a life, a family, a very happy existence.

But first things first, it’s New Year’s Eve! Tonight Lori and I will be tearing St. Louis a new one, riding a bomb and toasting the Commies (we’re going to a Communist themed New Year’s Party).

Immediately following the party I head to the airport.

Living like a rock star. Of course I’ll try to take video of all the craziness and bring it to y’all once I land.

Happy New Year’s!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

“The eagle shits tomorrow,” my father said to me while we were watching Dr. 90210.

“They aren’t extent yet,” I replied.

“No, the eagle shits tomorrow.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“He shits a nice golden nugget.”

I wrapped my brain around what he said as if it were a code I must decipher, ala The Da Vinci Code.

Eagle - symbol of the United States

Shits - to let go of something, release it

Golden - worth something of value, often monetary

Nugget - a lump of something precious, possibly of monetary value

Tomorrow - is Friday.

“You get paid tomorrow,” I yelped the moment I solved the puzzle.

My father doesn’t realize that not everybody is clued into the voices in his head. “The eagle shits,” is not a universally recognized idiom like, “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” or, “Kick the bucket.” Yes, it is witty, but you can’t just say it and expect people to get it.

I say we bring it into fashion. Next time you recognize it’s almost payday, tell it to your co-worker. In a few short years we might have created America’s new favorite idiom!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

May you find the joy,
Everybody, one and all.
Real as it comes and goes.
Rest your little heads,
Year to end in seven days.

Cancerous words fill our days,
Hours and minutes.
Reality sets in,
Is this who I really am?
Sanity is relative,
Tall expectation are hard to meet.
May you be who you want to be,
As you should be:
Sublime!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

I’ve seen Planes, Trains & Automobiles on cable for the past couple of years. It’s always been one of those middle of the day movies you watch while you’re snapping peas with your Mom at the kitchen table (well, I’ve never actually snapped peas with my mom, but you get my point). But I’ve never actually watched the movie.

OMG, what a movie!

Steve Martin is, well, of course he’s perfect. And the late John Candy, probably one of the sweetest and funniest performers ever. This film is such a gem.

The ending caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it to be that sweet. I cried, just a little.

I demand that you watch it when it comes on again. You will laugh, cry and probably pee a little.

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

I’m a happy guy. Sometimes I can be mellow, often boring, but I’m pretty much happy through out it all. So why is it that I find myself surrounded by Debbie Downers?

Everyone I’ve come in contact with lately (excluding Lori) has been angry, upset or sad. WTF people?!? “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” so said some dead old white guy. Hell, he’s dead and happy, why can’t that joy spread to others?

I think it’s because most people don’t have enough fiber in their diet, especially during the holidays. Everyone’s just walking around hoping for a good poop. They eat a sugar cookie, maybe some peppermint bark, a little turkey here and there, but what about a good apple? No, apple pie doesn’t count (or does it?).

So to all the negative nellies out there, shut up and eat a prune!

FYI, Marry Poppins is on, it’s Friday, and I’m totally willing to cancel plans just to watch it. When did I become this gay? Dick Van Dyke is dreamy!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

Sometimes I feel I’m not doing enough to help mankind. This desire to get out and volunteer happens every couple of months, typically around the time when I have an ample amount of free time. What a great way to spend your free time, right? The only kicker is many of my past attempts have fallen flat.

I once volunteered for a food delivery organization that gave meals to very ill people. I helped out in the food preparation part of the process. A cookie was to be placed with each meal. I noticed many of the volunteers snacking on cookies. So naturally I took a cookie for myself. It was yummy. How could I stop at just one? So I had another, and then another.

“What are you doing?” the man in charge asked.

Puzzled, with a mouthful, I responded, “I’m helping the needy.”

“By eating their food?”

Huh? “The other volunteers were eating cookies, so I thought…”

“Yes, they were, the volunteer cookies from the volunteer reception area. NOT the cookies about to be delivered to AIDS patients.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… they’re just so tasty, how could I stop at just one?” Nothing I could say would make things better. “Wow, look at the time, I should go. It’s been great, yeah, just fantastic!”

Walking the walk of shame to my car, I thought, ‘Hey, they WERE tasty AIDS cookies.”

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

Check it out, video of my first choir appearance ever. OMG, I just love being apart of this group. Seriously, wonderful people, good times and Christmas tunes, can you go wrong? Check out the group’s MySpace page, listen to some tunes and watch the video below (I’m in black towards the right, can you spot me?).

It’s the MOST WONDERFUL time of the Year

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Yes, it IS the most wonderful time of the year.

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

My love of yogurt is no secret. It’s nature little gift to me (and I guess you too). That processed yogurt can stay at the store, yogurt is at it’s best when it’s organic. That’s why I eat Stoneyfield Farms Lowfat Yogurt.

I already love my little Stoneyfield, but today I found a reason to love it even more. I noticed in the lid this ad…… It’s apart of their “Lids of the Month” thingy, each month the lids shine a light on an organization in need of a spotlight. The lid above is for Americans for Campaign Reform, a nonpartisan group dedicated to getting Congress to support a voluntary public funding system for elections. A voluntary public funding system is already in place in Arizona and Maine, to great results, and Connecticut will soon have it (if the Governor signs it into law).

Check out the website for more information.

Oh yeah, and eat Stoneyfield Farms product, not only are they mighty tasty but they also support great causes!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

HAlanScott.com is happening friends! I do need help though. I figured out how to change themes with WordPress, but how do I edit a theme to make it my own?

In fact, if you have any expertise with WordPress, please e-mail me at halanscott@gmail.com.

I’m so excited about my new site!