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Hate Crime
By halanscott | June 20, 2008
I’m a city boy, I love the energy, excitement and thrills of living in populous areas filled with interesting characters. But city life sometimes requires creativity in order to blend functionality and convenience into your existence.
My problem: I run to the gym to amplify the total work out gained, but my gym requires a towel (and doesn’t provide one, WTF?!?). I need to run with as few items as possible, what am I to do? Solution: I purchased a very cute and functional towel that serves as a head wrap (very Lawrence of Arabia), AND a towel at the gym.
I wear this urban functional towel to the gym for the first time the other day. Sweaty from my run, I remove the towel from my head and whipe the perspiration away as I walk into the weight run.
“Where’s your towel,” a rent-a-cop security lady at the gym asks me in a Rosie Perez like, sassy way. Excited to show her how fantastically functional this towel is, I proceed to explain the many perks of this $40 gem I stumbled upon.
“You and I both know that’s not a towel,” she says, sass in full force, hand on waist, a snap and twist couldn’t be far off.
“Don’t presume to know what I know,” I tell her, getting irritated that Blanca, that’s what I named her in my head, couldn’t understand the greatness of the towel.
Words were exchanged, things got heated, and I demanded to see the manager. The moments that passed were awkward and frustrating, how could she question me, who was SHE to question ME?
Up the stairs came a man that could have performed as the body double for the big black guy in The Green Mile. He wore a badge that read “Manager,” and I swear I noticed the lights flicker. With a deep breath I asked myself, “Is this going to be my hate crime?”
“I don’t have time for this,” I protested, looking up at the urban Jolly Green Giant. “You have wasted my time, I have meetings, important things. Goodbye!”
I literally ran home, defeated and ashamed. And I’m out $40 on a shit towel!
Topics: Uncategorized |
June 23rd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Next time you go there you just let loose your inner sass-ilaciousness and tell them that they had better provide towels, let you bring your $40 towel that’s better than any of the ratty old rags other people are allowed to bring, or they can find themselves another member. Mmm! *snap*
And you could always auction said towel at one of your shows.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:10 am
What kind of gym requires a towel, but doesn’t provide them?
Blegh.