Grand Canyon Adventure

I am going to the Grand Canyon at the end of August. Never been before, awfully excited!

There is a certain level of fear that I will get lost on the hike and left to die in the hot summer Grand Canyon sun. To protect myself, I plan on wearing the most ridiculously neon colored outfit, so that if the helicopters need to find me, they’ll easily be able to spot a hot, neon, tranny mess laid out on the canyon floor.

But will the search and rescue guys just pass me by on sight? This is a strong possibility. Maybe I should rethink the neon (which, in the normal straight world translates to “faggotty”) outfit choice and go for something more understated. Perhaps a Lands End outfit, with neutral colors and proper hiking boots.

Um, no, that’s boring!

So off to American Apparel it is. I feel like a fanny pack purchase is also in order. You see, I sweat, and really don’t want that retched circle back sweat stain left because of a backpack. And they have shiny black fanny packs.

So somehow I need to mix these two worlds…

This is going to be difficult.