I Am a Lesbian

In 1995 I was dying to see the film Boys on the Side.  It’s an emotional road trip chick flick about three women escpaing their lives and following their dreams out west.  Things don’t go as planned, one of them kills her husband, the other has AIDS, and the other one falls in love with the one with AIDS.  It’s a comedy.

I really wanted to see it, but I was 12, and had to convince my Dad and little brother.  I told them Drew Barrymoore and Whoopi Goldberg were in it, and that it was a comedy, so obviously they thought it was going to be Sister Act 3.

I lost my shit mid-way through the film, balling uncontrollably, while my brother looks bored and my Dad had the look of, “What the hell are we watching?”  It was during the scene where Whoopi admits she has fallen in love with AIDS stricken Mary Louise-Parker that I thought, “I must seem soooooooo gay to them right now.  How am I going to explain why I wanted to see this movie?”  I tried to control the tears, but I couldn’t, they flowed like the great Mississippi.

The film ended, I composed myself, and said, “Wow did they misrepresent that movie in the previews!  Right?  Right? Am I right?”

Silence. Crickets.  Just judgement.

But just to show you how gay I really am, I went out and got the CD of the film’s soundtrack, and then proceeded to get every artists album that was featured on the soundtrack.  Which is why to this day I’m such a huge fan of Stevie Nicks, Melissa Etheridge, Sarah McLachlan, Bonnie Raitt, and the Indigo Girls.

I am a lesbian.