Channeling the Inner Bette Midler

So they tell me it’s a new year.  Interesting.  I guess I should come up with some resolutions.  Or at the very least balance my checkbook.  

Does anyone even use a checkbook anymore?

When I think about it, I can’t think of many things I would do differently.  I’m physically fit and eat moderately well, so I’ve got to keep that up.  I have a wonderful job, comedy is going well (but could be better), and have an amazing group of family and friends.  What more could I ask for?

Oh yeah, maybe a little Bette Midler in my life.

I am very critical of myself.  It’s not that I have no self-confidence, it’s just that I have little self worth (Which  is different from having no self-confidence, right?  Isn’t it?).  I will get down on myself for not getting on that show, or missing out on that opportunity, or leave the bar feel worthless after nobody noticing me.  Life isn’t easy, that’s for sure, and it’s easy to feel worthless and defeated.  

But not if you’re Bette Midler.  NOTE: I’m about to gay it out, consider yourself warned.

Her confidence onstage is inspiring.  Here you have this, by most standards, plain Jane Jewish lady who is loud, obnoxious, and at times incredibly annoying.  But she doesn’t care.  She’s so self-assured of herself that any negativity just doesn’t phase her.  It’s as if she’s immune to negativity, immune to self-doubt.  This is what I need!

So my New Year’s Resolution is, in the moments of despair, think, “Focus on the inner Bette.  Be the Bette!”  

Wow, it works!  I just thought, “Whomever reads this is going to think I’m WAY gay, and kinda pathetic.”  INNER BETTE!  ”Who cares, you obviously just don’t get it!”