The official homepage for writer and comedian H. Alan Scott.

Sick Daytime TV Memories (literally sick, not like urban “That’s sick, dawg!”)

I’ve been sick all weekend. Not like, “Dawg, that’s sick,” but like literally sick. Not that I’d ever say, “Dawg, that’s sick.” I’m much less urban than my online presence gives off (and I’d much rather spell it “dog”).

It’s your run-of-the-mill flu. Or cold? I never know the difference between the two. One is a virus and the other is what exactly? Just my body being like, “You deserve a break today,” but making that break super shitty with a sore throat and a runny nose? I guess it could be allergies? It is allergy season. But I’m too achy for it to be allergies. Is that a symptom of allergies? Dr. Phil? Oz? Mom?

I used to love sick days home from school. My Mom was very liberal with her sick day policy. “Mom, I don’t feel well,” pause, “Great, get back in bed.” This probably wasn’t the best parenting policy, but I enjoyed it (and abused it). What I missed in math class I more than made up for in daytime TV!

Daytime TV of my youth was exceptional, the real hey day of daytime. I’m not talking about soap operas (snore), but rather talk shows. Oh Lord Jesus, I loved a talk show.

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