The official homepage for writer and comedian H. Alan Scott.

Posts Tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Happy Father’s Day

The last time I saw my father was in 1997 when we went to see Titanic.  He’s not dead or anything, we just don’t talk anymore.

My father never wasn’t conventional.  My parents divorced when I was young and my father got custody of me and my siblings.  We lived with him for six years until he sent us to live with our mother (on June 7, 1993, not to be too specific).  It was in those six years that the groundwork was set for the man I would eventually become.  And yes, I am really a man.

I never had a bedtime.  Not because he didn’t want me to have a bedtime, but rather because I insisted on watching “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.”  It was there that I saw the stand up comics that would become my inspirations for pursuing the same goals.


He encouraged my obsessions with Bette Midler, Madonna, and Oprah, even though they didn’t necessarily fit the mold of what makes a “young man.”

He let me watch any movie I wanted to, no matter its rating.  How else was I going to see my first crush, Tom Cruise, in Rain Man?

We don’t speak anymore because of the incredible amount of negative history that is there.  As I age, I’m able to separate the things he did from the things I’m grateful for.  Nothing is ever perfect, especially in relationships, but what matters most is one’s outlook on the bigger picture.  He wasn’t a dad, he was more that distant Uncle who overstays his welcome at Thanksgiving.  And that’s okay.

I see him in me, both the good and the bad, but being able to rationalize that is what makes me a man.  Well, that, and this…


Happy Father’s Day

The last time I saw my father was in 1997 when we went to see Titanic. He’s not dead or anything, we just don’t talk anymore.

My father never wasn’t conventional. My parents divorced when I was young and my father got custody of me and my siblings. We lived with him for six years until he sent us to live with our mother (on June 7, 1993, not to be too specific). It was in those six years that the groundwork was set for the man I would eventually become. And yes, I am really a man.

I never had a bedtime. Not because he didn’t want me to have a bedtime, but rather because I insisted on watching “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.” It was there that I saw the stand up comics that would become my inspirations for pursuing the same goals.

 

He encouraged my obsessions with Bette Midler, Madonna, and Oprah, even though they didn’t necessarily fit the mold of what makes a “young man.” He let me watch any movie I wanted to, no matter its rating. How else was I going to see my first crush, Tom Cruise, in Rain Man?

We don’t speak anymore because of the incredible amount of negative history that is there. As I age, I’m able to separate the things he did from the things I’m grateful for. Nothing is ever perfect, especially in relationships, but what matters most is one’s outlook on the bigger picture. He wasn’t a dad, he was more that distant Uncle who overstays his welcome at Thanksgiving. And that’s okay.

I see him in me, both the good and the bad, but being able to rationalize that is what makes me a man. Well, that, and this…


Bang, Bang – You’re Dead – But Ya Done Good!

I’m a rip the band aid off quickly type person.  What’s the point in doing it slowly and dragging the pain out?  (why do i speak in metaphors?)

Sometimes I can’t leave well enough alone. If something is  eating at me I’ve got to do it, even if I know it’s a bad idea.  Which is why, at times (and by “at times” i mean often), I am a fool.

I was talking with my best bud Lori White the other day (check her out here and here, oh yeah, and here), and we acknowledged that we give people the benefit of the doubt way too much.  People that, even though we’ve been wrong by them (or we’ve wronged them), we feel like there is something salvageable.  No relationship, be it of any kind, is totally a waste.  Which is why we have trouble just cutting someone out, not inviting them to the party (stop with the metaphors already!).  

So the urge to bring that person who was once a mainstay in your days and nights back into the fold is kind of irristable for people like Lori and I.  We’ll make the outreach, attempt to clear the air, put ourselves out there, and hopefully not get shot down.

But, let’s be honest, more often than not when we do these things we get shot down.  It’s not anybodies fault, it’s the way of the beast with social interactions and relationships (i love that saying, “way of the beast,” it reminds me of the rolling stones).  But the attempt is laudable, right?  It’s the attempt that matters!

I was reading the Ellen DeGeneres interview in the latest issue of Oprah’s magazine (stop judging me!),  and they were chatting about how there’s a lesson in everything you do.  Oprah said, “I always ask myself, ‘What does that mean?’ or ‘How does that event effect me in the long run?’”  (well, she’s Oprah, so I guess when bad things happen to her she just buys a cable TV network or opens a school in Africa and gains back her karma points)  But she does make a good point.  My decision to put myself out there, and get shot down, just gives me more strength.  In fact, I feel pretty good about everything.  The line from that songs sums it up, “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.”  Cheesy song, but awesome way to live!