Without fail, every time I return home from a trip, and the plane flys by the New York City skyline, I think, “Holy hell, I can’t believe I actually live there.” My friend Bryan put it well, “… to have moved to the biggest city in the country and made a life for yourself…” I love this city!

But I won’t be here for much longer. On June 15th I leave for Los Angeles for my six month stretch out there. But come 2009 I’ll be back in the Big Apple. But before I leave I’ve got some funny business to take care of. Check out my MySpace page for a complete listing of where I’ll be performing in the next couple of weeks. Come to a show, I guarantee you’ll laugh at least once (I’ll tickle ya if I have to).

My little brother has graduated from college. It’s an amazing achievement, I’m very proud. To honor the occassion, I’ve traveled half-way across the country to spend the holiday weekend with the family in St. Louis, MO.

First impressions? I’m loving the green. It’s everywhere! Holy hell, the tree’s, the grass, the hills, green, green, green. I’m in heaven, runner’s heaven!

Oh, being home, even for a short amount of time, is splendid. Holla for St. Louis!

Tomorrow morning I’ll be leaving on a jet plane for New York City. Color me thrilled!

I can’t believe I’ve been away from the city since June. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then my heart is literally leaking fondness. NYC is my home, which is funny because I never intended for it to be that. Initially it was just a stop on the path, not literally a place to settle down, just to hang my hat. But while I was there I established a life, a family, a very happy existence.

But first things first, it’s New Year’s Eve! Tonight Lori and I will be tearing St. Louis a new one, riding a bomb and toasting the Commies (we’re going to a Communist themed New Year’s Party).

Immediately following the party I head to the airport.

Living like a rock star. Of course I’ll try to take video of all the craziness and bring it to y’all once I land.

Happy New Year’s!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

“The eagle shits tomorrow,” my father said to me while we were watching Dr. 90210.

“They aren’t extent yet,” I replied.

“No, the eagle shits tomorrow.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“He shits a nice golden nugget.”

I wrapped my brain around what he said as if it were a code I must decipher, ala The Da Vinci Code.

Eagle - symbol of the United States

Shits - to let go of something, release it

Golden - worth something of value, often monetary

Nugget - a lump of something precious, possibly of monetary value

Tomorrow - is Friday.

“You get paid tomorrow,” I yelped the moment I solved the puzzle.

My father doesn’t realize that not everybody is clued into the voices in his head. “The eagle shits,” is not a universally recognized idiom like, “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” or, “Kick the bucket.” Yes, it is witty, but you can’t just say it and expect people to get it.

I say we bring it into fashion. Next time you recognize it’s almost payday, tell it to your co-worker. In a few short years we might have created America’s new favorite idiom!

Send me an email at HAlanScott@gmail.com

A Conversation with My Mom

MOM: Hi.

ME: Hi.
MOM: How ya feeling?
ME: I’m fine, how are you?
MOM: Tired.
ME: You should rest.
MOM: What about Adam West?
ME: No, you should rest.
MOM: I always try to shop for less.
ME: No Mom, REST!
MOM: Well take a nap if you’re tired.
ME: Ugh.
MOM: I read on the computer that if you train too much for a marathon you could cause lasting injury.
ME: Where did you read that?
MOM: On the computer.
ME: But where on the computer?
MOM: In the internet.
ME: What site?
MOM: Internet Explorer.
ME: No Mom, what website?
MOM: What about cellulite?
ME: Gotta go Mom, love you.
MOM: See ya on the flip flop.

Send me an email at TheScottBlog@gmail.com