It ain’t easy bein lazy.

I’m amazed at how difficult I find lazy days to be. I’ve had such a busy week, so taking a Scott day was very much in order. But instead of getting fresh with the couch, I felt the need to…

- Clean

- Grocery shop

- Bake

- Go on a light run

- Cook a fantastic dinner

Hmm, I need a lesson in laziness.

So, while binging on the fantastic chocolate chip cookies I made (seriously, they’re like professional), I was able to upload the video of my stand-up the other night.

It went alright, not an A, not an F, more like a C+. I don’t know, see for yourself with the video below. It’s all about the stage time, and there were some fantastic people in the audience. All in all it was a great night.

BTW, big thanks to everyone who inquired about how the stand-up went. That was very sweet, I truly appreciate it.

Enjoy!

I’m horrible with men. I don’t know what to do with them. One will take an interest in me and eventually I’ll treat them like a pesky waitress at TGIFriday’s, “YES, I’m doing fine, leave me alone!”

The root of my trepidation with men comes from my FFF (Former Fat Fuck) days. In a way it was easier to date as a fatty, I compensated with humor, which made me a fantastic date. Unfortunately most of my humor was based on fat jokes. A skinny guy telling a fat joke about himself just doesn’t hold the hilarity needed to make a lasting impression.

Of course the real kicker is the type of guys that take an interest in me. I seem to attract bipolar and/or shallow guys who lack the chutzpah needed to keep up with me. The shallow behavior can easily be mistaken for confidence, but typically I don’t find out about the bipolar disorder until we’ve already moved in together and are planning to adopt a Chinese baby.

So who is my ideal man? Well, he’d have to be funny (but not funnier than me). So I guess he’d have to have a little Steve Carell in him. I’d like him to have the intelligence of Anderson Cooper with the spontaneity of Steve Martin. (Sidebar: I think I have a thing for a older guys, hmmmm?). I’d also like him to have a little Betty White in him, just cause she’s gives all in her presence that homey feeling. I wonder what this creation would look like?
Yes boys and girls, it’s Jesse Irwin, my new love and the lead singer of the Dock Ellis Band. I wrote about him and the band a couple of blogs ago, check out the video. If only Jesse knew about our love, he’d probably write a witty song about it and book a chapel in Massachusetts.

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

BTW, loving the snow here in the Midwest. It’s certainly a winter wonderland.Gotta go play, peace out friends!

Send me an email at TheScottBlog@gmail.com

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for all the many wonderful things in your life. There are always things to be thankful for: your family, friends, possibly your fantastic job, maybe a new skill you picked up. Whatever it is it’s almost always something that defines who you are in some way. Every Thanksgiving I give thanks for all the typical things, but as I got older I recognized one thing in my life that was missing out on the love: the cinema!

The first Thanksgiving after I moved in with my mother (I was 11), I spent with my father in his crappy apartment in the ghetto of St. Louis. The turkey was dry, the stuffing looked a little too much like hash for comfort and the pumpkin pie had a chalky taste to it. Of course I ate every bite, had seconds, and acted like it was the best meal ever.

“You’ve gained weight since you’ve moved in with your mother,” my dad told me in his matter-of-fact way after I helped myself to a second piece of pie. I wanted to tell him the truth about the meal, payback for his insult, but the shame of food was just too strong.

Late that night I couldn’t sleep. The embarrassment of being a fatty, and being called on it, was too strong to bear. To ease the pain I put in a movie, Splash. That finished, still wasn’t sleepy, so I popped in The Adventures of Huck Finn. The sun started to come out when I put on Punchline. For the rest of the weekend I watched one movie after another. In between a couple films I would take quick naps. A League of Their Own, The Firm, sleep, Field of Dreams, poop, Annie, Heaven Can Wait, sleep, Rent-a-Cop, Days of Thunder (I had a thing for Tom Cruise), Big.

It was during that weekend when I discovered the power of movies. They took me away from the pain. If I got lonely, sad, embarrassed, even bored, all I needed to do was watch a movie and everything would be alright. At least for two hours. Half the time it didn’t matter what film it was, I could lose myself in it.

To this day I still see at least one movie in the theaters a week. Of course I also watch them at home. Now they’ve become something else altogether, no longer are they used as a mechanism to ignore grief, but more like I’m catching up with an old friend.

Below is a list of movies that I watch on a regular basis for all sorts of reasons. If you haven’t seen them, I highly recommend you check them out. What are some of your favorites?

~ Terms of Endearment: I watch this movie almost monthly. It’s difficult for me to explain why this film is so special to me, it moves me like no other film ever has.

~ Citizen Kane: Every time I watch this movie I’m amazed. I still cannot believe it was made in 1941. It seems so modern.

~ The Bicycle Thief: I get emotional just describing the plot of this film. A down on his luck father finally gets a job on war-torn Rome, but it requires a bike (and his was stolen). He takes his son on a walk around Rome trying to find a bike. Simple plot, beautifully shot and an ending you will never, EVER, forget.

~ The Purple Rose of Cairo: A hidden Woody Allen gem. A woman escapes her horrible life by going to the movies (sound familiar?). But then the film comes to life!

~ It’s a Wonderful Life: The scene where young George Bailey gets slapped by the drunk pharmacist for keeping him from possibly poisoning a prescription, and then the drunk pharmacist realizes what he was about to do- and what he did to Geroge, is possibly one of the single most saddest scenes I have ever seen. Beautiful!

~ Nights of Cabiria: A prostitute decides to change her ways and get her life on track. An Italian classic!

~ Billy Elliott: Poor boy + hidden talent as a dancer + hope = great film!

~ Torch Song Trilogy: I want this life (minus the career as a drag queen and the tragedy of losing a love).

~ All About My Mother: Really any film by Pedro Almodovar can take me out of a funk, but this one in particular.

***CLICK ON MOVIE TITLES TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THOSE FILMS***

Send me an email at TheScottBlog@gmail.com