Getting my body beach ready for my upcoming vacation ain’t easy, but it’s moderately funny.

Hipster Freeze-Tag Brings Childhood Game To Academic Levels In Silver Lake, And Looks Silly (VIDEO).

I went to see Raging Bull last night. Imagine my surprise when I learned it was a documentary about the McCain campaign.

I should have learned my lesson from before. I was so thrilled to see a truthful, accurate documentary made about George W. Bush, but thoroughly disappointed when Dumb & Dumber turned out to be a silly Jim Carrey movie.

Whatever!

An 82 year old Kentucky man traded prescription drugs for sex.  If he has good insurance, he essentially got laid for a couple of bucks.  This man is a genius!

Think about how many lucky senior citizens could take advantage of this with a universal health care plan?  Yet another reason to vote for Obama y’all!

On this season of VH1′s “The Surreal Life,” the losing candidates of the Republican and Democratic primary elections for the Presidency.  Below, a teaser…

Sarah Palin: Welcome candidates.  As the former Vice Presidential nominee for the Republican Party, it is within my juristiction as a Maverick (wink) to welcome you to your new home for the next few weeks.

Mike Gravel: You’re not Alaska, I’m Alaska!

Bill Richardson: Are there any Durrito’s?

Hillary Clinton: I can speak from experience, you must watch your diet, remember what happened to Bill, um, Bill.

Fred Thomspon: I was asked to play Bill in a TV Movie.  For weeks I ate BBQ ribs and enduced a heart attack.  I’m a method actor.

Rudy Giuliani: I just like wearing dresses.

Ron Paul: You’re all going to hell!

Dennis Kucinich: There is no hell.  And I hope this house is vegan friendly.

John Edwards: Just no cameras in the bathroom, please, I’ve had too much trouble with people poking fun at my grooming habits.

Chris Dodd: I don’t know why I’m here.  I only ran to get on TV.

Hillary Clinton: You don’t know why you’re here?!?  I almost had it!

Mike Huckabee: Can we pray?

Sarah Palin: I can tell you all are going to get along just swell.

Stay tuned!

Look at the size of that soda?!?

I’m performing tonight at a Hostel.  Let’s hope they aren’t hostel.    Sorry, I just had to say it.

Seriously though, I’m concerned that most of the audience will be foreign.  I’m not sure that many foreigners have an understanding of what it’s like to be gay and Mormon.  The joke isn’t funny if you have to explain it, you know?

Perhaps I could just trash President Bush and denounce my American citizenship, they love that shit.

*****

A change is coming to America next Tuesday y’all.  It’s going to be huge!

The new season of “The Amazing Race” premieres on CBS.  I love this show.  I’ve read that this season is going to be especially good.  Check it out.

Something else is going on as well?  You’re suppose to vote I think, but I could have swore that “American Idol” was on hiatus.  Vote for what?