The official homepage for writer and comedian H. Alan Scott.

Posts Tagged ‘Los Angeles’

Hop, Skip, and a Jump: Hello LA!

I’ve arrived in sunny California!  Well, it’s not totally sunny at the moment, a bit overcast, but saying “I’ve arrived in overcast California” just doesn’t have a good ring to it.

One of the first events that happened when I got out here was Michael Jackson’s Memorial Service.  What a sight that was!  Black people know how to throw a funeral.  As my firend Lori said, it’s just one big jam session.  Nobody does a funeral better than black people.  Except, Lori noted, the Irish.  But they are kind of the blacks of Europe, no?

Did you see John Mayer at MJ’s funeral?  I was so confused with his presence.  I think he thought he was going to play, “Your Body is a Wonderland” in honor of Neverland Ranch, but then realized it might be taken the wrong way.  Tacky John, totes tacky!

It’s good to be back in the land of silicone.  I joined Crunch fitness, which was like a huge step for me.  Not because I need inspiration to work out, I’m pretty physical, but because I don’t like shelling out that kind of money every month for something that should be way cheaper (and thus more accessible to everybody).  The perk to having a membership at a high priced gym: they give you a small towel and a large towel, various soap options in the private showers, and skinny trainers you know are judging everything you do (because they think they know better, which is like beyond annoying,  I’m not the one having to work at a gym just to get a free gym membership – ZING!).

Here’s to setting goals and achieving them!


Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Alright, so I’ve been a shitty blogger lately.  Life exploded for a bit.  To the 12 people who will read this, I am sorry.

What have I been up to?  

So yeah, I’ve been busy!

I also signed back up for Match.com.  Figured it would be a good way to meet men in LA.  I don’t tan, rarely drink, and hate the gym, so my ability to meet gay men in the normal fashion is limited out there.  What’s fun about Match is that you can type in keywords to search for men.  I typed in Shirley MacLaine.  Various men who look like my father turned up.  It was like looking into a mirror of my future.  This cannot happen to me!

I am spent.  More to come.


Banana Milkshake

Tonight is my farewell dinner.  I chose Fred 62′s in Los Feliz because they serve a banana milkshake.  In the land of the H, there are no limits when it comes to anything banana or pumpkin.  I will eat (and in this case, drink) the shit out of it.  Calories don’t matter.  Fat content is a none issue.  Processed is fine.  

I love diner’s, always have.  As a foodie type person, there’s a certain amount of shame in admitting that I love diner’s.  There’s something uniquely American about a diner.  It’s trashy, yes, but the simplicity of it is what makes it fantastic.  And they typically serve breakfast all day.  Done, I’m sold!

I shall offer a full report on the yummy goodness tomorrow.


Don’t Stress Me Out

Packing stresses me out.  It’s not like I have a lot of things.  I have a fair amount, certainly not a small amount, but it’s pretty average for a bi-coastal fella (everytime I say “bi-coastal,” I snicker).

It’s just that, this is my life I’m looking at.  Everything that I own (which isn’t very much), is laid out in front of me.  I am made of H & M clothes, used books and way too many DVD’s.  Of course I am worth more than that, but to literally see all of my possessions in one pile, more mound I suppose, it’s overwhelming.

I found an amazing apartment (I haven’t seen it yet, but my new roomie is fantastic, and my friend Bryan has seen it, so I feel pretty safe in saying it’s amazing).

I get to start over now.  A new location.  A new friend.  A new bed.  It’s moments like this in life that typically just float on by, it’s greatness missed on the stress of the situation.  I often say, whenever I’m nervous about a performance or something, that it wouldn’t be real if I weren’t nervous.  The anxiety is part of what makes stand-up comedy great.  The same goes for this situation.

I am so happy.