• Welcome to my homepage. I'm a comedian, writer, host and actor based in New York City and Los Angeles. Send me an e-mail at HAlanScott@gmail.com
  • Get Involved!

    Volunteer!
  • Got MySpace?

    H. Alan Scott's MySpace Page
  • How bout Facebook?

    H. Alan Scott on Facebook
  • CLINTON SUPPORTER FOR OBAMA, ask me why!

    Barack Obama Logo
  • RSS Obama HQ

  • RSS CNN.com

  • RSS The Onion

  • Merry Christmas

    Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

    May you find the joy,
    Everybody, one and all.
    Real as it comes and goes.
    Rest your little heads,
    Year to end in seven days.

    Cancerous words fill our days,
    Hours and minutes.
    Reality sets in,
    Is this who I really am?
    Sanity is relative,
    Tall expectation are hard to meet.
    May you be who you want to be,
    As you should be:
    Sublime!

    Iowa

    Tuesday, December 11th, 2007

    Oh Mister Hawkeye
    your corn is enticing
    I won’t lie
    the cold aint exciting.

    Ottumwa (pronounced Uh-tuhm-wa), is where my hat hangs.
    It’s a pullover, very warm.
    Tom Arnold, best remembered as Roseanne’s husband, is an Ottumwan.
    Their famous loose meat sandwiches started here,
    Canteen Lunch Alley, where it all began.

    Loose meat,
    sounds like a metaphor
    for some gay after school special.

    Mayor Jerry Parker
    declared Ottumwa “Video Game Capital of the World”
    in 1982.
    Seriously? 1982?
    I was zero.

    Were Atari’s even out then?

    Iowa, millions and millions served since 1846.